God and Vampyric Peep Queen's show down
by wufei hater
Summary: You have to read to beleive, but me and VPQ fought for the keyboard to write this story and this is what we came up with. Enjoy puny mortals!


God:"Hey there people! For those of you who don't know me, my name is GOD! That's right GOD is personally writing this fanfic, so if you flame me, I will do the same. Do you really wanna screw with someone who has people ritualistically cannibalize his son? Plagues of locusts sound familiar? I'll really be angry if you flame this; dinosaurs sound familiar?  
  
I do own DBZ, Gundam Wing, and anything else I decide to throw in there. I'm GOD I own you too! However the mortal form I've taken on this plane is poor, and he owns nothing. He doesn't own me either. He's my bitch, not vice versa."  
  
  
  
One day Vegeta was skipping down a path, humming and singing merrily. Like a Smurf, with no blue, and hair.  
  
God:"GOD OWNS THE SMURFS TOO, hey we all make mistakes, the difference is you can't harass me for mine, and I can laugh all eternity at yours."  
  
"La la lalalala, la la la la laaaa." He sang and skipped along. When suddenly Duo jumped out with a video camera.  
  
"I got you! I got you!" Duo jumped about gleefully. And videotaped Vegeta's expression as his mouth dropped down the ground. "C'mon, Vegeta! Smile!" Duo said and zoomed in on Vegeta's face. Vegeta's eyes started to turn blue-ish and Duo zoomed out to include his head. Vegeta's hair turned golden blonde and it was getting longer.  
  
Duo moved the camera out of his face to look at Vegeta. His hair was down to his knees and rocks around him were flying up. Duo tilted his head to the side and giggled. Vegeta extended his arms and puts is wrists together and small lightning bolts go around him. He groans and yells out. Duo tilts his head and laughs pointing at Vegeta.  
  
"FINAL FLASH!" Vegeta yells out and immediately incinerates Duo in a blast of light that goes through space and can be seen from neighboring start systems. Vegeta powers down and inhales deeply, trying to get his breath back. "Weakling" he mutters and skips off merrily, singing the Smurf song again.  
  
God::God proceeds to laugh at the short-lived battle.:: "I love this!"  
  
Vampyric Peep Queen: Little Cat: You can't kill DUO! ::hysterical giggle fit:: you're an uber goober!  
  
God: "For that all will suffer." ::Turns little cat into an actual real Little Cat:: OUTSIDE NOW CAT! ::makes a little flame demon to chase little cat outside::  
  
VPQ: Little Cat: Tell me when Quatre or Zechs come into the story!" she yells as she runs outside.  
  
1 God: God smiles evilly.  
  
VPQ: Teehee! ::kitty fangs glitter:: ::jumps onto GOD and attaches herself to his face with her claws. Jumps down walking prissily away, as cats always do. Scampers off:: Teehee!  
  
God: You damn cat! ::GOD grabs little cat by the scruff and picks her up to face him:: TO HELL WITH YOU NOW! ::Throws little cat through the floor and into Hell:: I invented PETA I can ignore it when I want to!  
  
VPQ ::As she falls into the pits she curses his white bony ass:: I will return, you pussy GOD!  
  
God ::Makes a big thunderstorm to repeatedly shock little cat with lightning bolts on her way down:: Back to God's fic.  
  
Elsewhere, Goku, and Quatre were playing a deep game of Checkers. Trowa sat on between them at the square table, with Pikachu eating something across from Trowa. "King me!" Quatre proclaimed.  
  
"Oh man, I didn't even see that! Good move Quat!" Goku proclaimed and laughed insanely.  
  
Quatre put his hand over his mouth and whispered to Trowa. "That's the twentieth straight game he's lost, is he insane?" Trowa nodded an equally confused "…".  
  
"Oh man are you guys hungry too? It must've been twenty minutes since I had that buffet table." Goku said and rubbed his stomach, and looked around for something to eat. He glanced down at Pikachu and licked his lips. Pikachu looked up at him raised his ears up and lifted an eyebrow.  
  
"Pika-chuuuuu?" The rodent said.  
  
"That's right, Pikachu. Mmmmm" Goku said and stared at Pikachu. Goku then with lightning quickness, stole the food from Pikachu and tossed it into the air and ate it.  
  
"PIKA-CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The yellow rat yelled and shocked Goku.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Goku yelled out and picked up Pikachu in his hands. "You suck!" And with that shoved Pikachu down his throat. Everyone at the table could hear the muffled sounds of a Pikachu bulging out of Goku's cheek and opened their eyes wide. Goku then spat the Pikachu out and onto the ground. The Pikachu was covered in Goku's spit.  
  
"Dude that's so nasty!" Quatre yelled and stood up quickly to avoid touching Pikachu.  
  
"!!!" Trowa didn't say.  
  
To the amazement of everyone around the table, Pikachu spoke in his same painfully cute tone of voice. "You bitch! You'll hear from my agent! Screw you guys, I'm going home to throw back a few brewskies and get this crap of me!" Pikachu said and walked away on two legs, shocking a squirrel to death and walking up the street.  
  
Goku, Trowa, and Quatre just stared at Pikachu as he walked up the street.  
  
"Guys. Do you know what's really weird? It's the end of the scene and we're not dead." Quatre said.  
  
"Hmmmmmmmm" Trowa said.  
  
"See I told you guys that he was a Pussy God!" Goku said.  
  
God: STOP CALLING ME A FUCKING PUSSY GOD! ::God then proceed to leave the park that they were in as a mile wide smoking crater:: Don't screw with me!  
  
The three occupants arrived beside God and looked at him with a cross between anger and mass confusion. "What'd you do that for?" Goku asked.  
  
God: I'm GOD! I can do what I want to! And I'm having a bad day! So sacrifices had to be made to appease me! ::he then raises his fingers and zaps Goku:: That was fun! ::Zaps Goku again::  
  
~ Back to God's fic ~  
  
VPQ::VO from hell (guess who!):: God's getting his ass kicked by his own characters … ::tisks:: it be a sad day in the world …  
  
God: SHUT UP!! I SAID BACK TO GOD'S FIC! THAT MEANS I GO BACK TO WRITING MORE, NOT BE INSULTED FURTHER!  
  
VPQ::has fun with the Waterboy song:: the god sucks! He really really sucks! The god sucks! He really really sucks! SUCKS!!  
  
God: THAT'S IT I'M GONNA DESTROY HELL NOW! THE FORMAT OF THIS FIC JUST CHANGED! NO LONGER IS IT ME RANDOMLY INSULTING CHARACTERS! IT IS NOW GOING TO BE THAT BATTLE BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL! YUNNO! ARMEGEDDON!  
  
Cody: (gods human form, the author) (Who ever thought I would be defending heaven? ::God's corporeal form that is writing this story said:: )  
  
God: IDIOT YOU ARE GOD! AND THIS IS FICTION! YOU ARE THE GOD, NOT THE BIBLICAL ONE!  
  
Cody: Oh ok, internal conflict gone now. Thank you voice in my head that thinks its god!  
  
VPQ::casually licks her paws, shrugs:: fine, if that's the way you want it. ::sighs:: ::changes into a succubus human-neco form, batting her eyelashes in that still predominately kitty way. Swarms of daemons, vampyrs, incubi, sucubi, and various sorts of creatures of the night. Clears her throat regally:: Attack.  
  
God ::God is thoroughly pissed, raises, Goku, Quatre (God gives him a super cool souped up Sandrock that doesn't suck like his last ones), Trowa (there is nothing cooler than his Heavyarms, so that won't change)And also Hordes of Angels with machine guns, rocket launchers, and lasers.  
  
VPQ: (whatever) ::giggles insanely, conjuring uber loads of red dragons, Kusanagi (yummy!), Fred Lou (succubus has gotta have fun), Inu-yasha, Milliardo,  
  
God: (NO!) ::God claims Gene Starwind, Shredder from TMNT::  
  
VPQ: I claim Suzuka Twilight, Lady Aisha, ummmm Harry McDougal, Treize, and Gillius!  
  
God: I claim Lord Hazanko!  
  
VPQ: I get Shido(Nightwalker)!  
  
God: I get Pinky and the Brain! And all the Animaniacs! And Eeveren Boh! (One of our friends)  
  
VPQ: I get Flame!  
  
God: I get the Blob! The literal blob not the marvel wuss!  
  
VPQ: I get Cain from Nightwalker!  
  
God: I get Unicron!  
  
VPQ: I don't care! I want Fiore, Alan, Momaru (SS Tuxedo form) from Sailor moon!  
  
God: I get all the Sailor Scouts! And Mojo Jojo and HIM!  
  
VPQ: I get Jadeite. And tanzanite and onyx.  
  
God: I get Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Emperor Palpatine, and Grand Admiral Thrawn!  
  
VPQ: I have Fathom, Witchblade, The Darkness, Darkside, Jesse Custer, Tulip, Angel, Spike (aka William the Bloody), Drusilla, Angelis,  
  
God: I get Gavlin! And I want Cassidy from Preacher, Kay, Morpheous, Neo, Trinity, and Agent Smith!  
  
VPQ: Everyone from Fushugi Yugi, all the Incarnations (Piers Anthony), Hecate, Lady Macbeth, Jessica Rabbit, Topie, Agate, Radian bwaha  
  
God: I get Diablo, Mephisto, Baal, (D2 4EVA!) AND I WANT TEAM ROCKET! THE JESSE AND JAMES ONE!  
  
VPQ: Vash, Jet, Spike, Buffy, Glory!  
  
God: I get the Master, Adam, the mayor, and Buttercup! AND WILLOW AND TARA!  
  
VPQ: Moron! All the cockroaches from 'Joe's Apartment' … and the giant urinal cake!  
  
God: Well I get Beavis and Butthead, and CORNHOLIO! And Daria.  
  
VPQ :: triumphantly raises arms in the air:: I GET EVERYONE FROM THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES! I LOVE YOU ANN RICE!  
  
God: I GET ANN RICE!  
  
VPQ: Then I get Jackie Chan!  
  
God :I get Stan Lee!  
  
Then the forces of this eternal plain have been claimed! Now there is only… MORTAL KOMBAT! *Spiffy music plays and God flips onto a cloud. * 


End file.
